Why I do queer DIY fashion
Caption: Protest vest made in 2021
1980–2000: The developmental years
I first learned from my grandmother. She was a survivor of the Great Depression, and making things was just something you needed to do. By the time my sister and I came around, it was more of a hobby rather than a necessity. My sister picked up more of that and became extremely prolific. I had my own gender stuff to work through.
In graduate school, I picked up knitting and also picked up my first experience of monotropism, aka hyper-focus to the point of physical injury. The combination of obsessive knitting and obsessive typing. Trying to do my graduate work. Ended up with an injury, but I still stuck with it. Every now and then, I would pick up knitting or cross stitch as a stress relief and just to play around.
2016–2020: Clothing experiments
This period was bookmarked by two different crises. I had been aggressively compartmentalizing my life into three different sections. The first was attempting to interact within a supportive LGBTQ+ community. The second was my professional life, where I felt like I was wearing a strict behavioral and clothing uniform that didn't fit. I had gone deeply into the closet, where much of my extended family was concerned. And had never broken that habit.
I started to experiment but ran into some issues. In terms of mass-produced women's clothing, I'm a bit of a statistical outlier. Small label clothes made specifically for non-binary market don't have a lot for people who are fat, slightly femme, and over 40. Small label of clothing can also be very expensive, and I don't quite have the budget.
DIY gave me the option to try clothes and styles that fit. A lot of this was executed on thrifted or sale fabric. Probably my best pieces were a series of vests using a pattern from Thread Theory. A handmade vest had always been one of my top wish list items.
A lot of it wasn't very successful, but I learned a lot about construction, sizing, and working with patterns during this period.
2021–2024: Angry mode and personal growth
2020 was the second crisis. Covid, work trouble, election uncertainty, excessive doom/trauma-scrolling, and misdiagnosed mental health issues led to severe burnout in November 2020. In 2021 I was looking for work and struggling with recovery in quarantine.
So fuck it, I created a battle vest using cross-stitch patches. The unicorn was a semi-permanent way to express anger at pervasive relationship abuse of bi and trans people (which I have experienced). Heather Flowers' "Meatpunk Manifesto" and the game itself was influential for describing queer art that doesn't use subtext or metaphor for acceptability. Gideon the Ninth led to another patch.
A follow-up patch features the character of Phantasmos from the visual novel, Gender Wrecked. A lone traveler goes on a quest to understand the meaning of gender by interviewing (or fighting or kissing) a series of monsters including a talking tree, the tv dad of the meatboys, and a gender-fluid werewolf. It was my first self-drafted design, and I think the neck could use a little bit of work, but overall I'm very pleased with it.
I continued with clothing patterns as well during this period, including pants by Muna and Broad that became very well worn and my current pajamas. And I also found historic clothing communities including a great video on minimal-waste skirtmaking.
In 2024, I was assessed for autism and ADHD. Prior to this diagnosis, I had been struggling with a diagnosis focused on trauma-induced anxiety disorder. The shift in thinking about how my brain works has also shifted my thinking regarding personal fashion choices. I've chosen to lean into preferences for muted color, loose fit, and modesty rather than treat them solely as risk-avoidance.
2026–Future: Revival?
I felt the need to take a break over the last two years due to a changing job, moving to a new city, and the political environment. I'm not entirely comfortable at the moment, but comfortable enough to take some steps forward at my own pace. Some current projects include:
- the red hat: This will be my first knitting project in a very long time. I fell out of knitting because Savannah, Georgia is a subtropical swamp. The red knitted hat was a symbol of Norwegian resistance and pro-democracy during World War Two and was banned by the German Nazis.
- a made-to-measure shirt: My body has changed over the last four years, and I find that a shirt with a modest side dart feels and looks a lot better. This will be done with a pattern drafted by freesewing.eu.
The new job and relocation to Atlanta, Georgia give me a lot more choices in terms of resources. Hopefully, I can use them to grow as an amateur crafter.